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My New Spiritual System

By Andreas Ingo

1. Being

The greatest happiness one ever can experience is not something tangible in the physical world. It’s not about fame, money and a good relationship even though those can help. It’s rather about how one experiences one’s self. A deep and heartfelt appreciation of one’s true self. But it goes beyond a simple thought “I’m good enough”, “I’m successful”, “I love myself” or similar thoughts of the same kind. Being is rather a difficult matter. A matter of a long process of personal development to find inner depths beyond those superficial states experienced in waking consciousness.

I have been on the path to self-liberation for several years. In fact this search started in my teenager years when I left a closed off group of spiritual seekers to become an atheist and later a musician creating music in my private apartment. It was a search for something I barely could understand. I began with meditation exercise and found a new passion in reading spiritual masters that had done the same soul searching like me. But in the end it ended with a rejection of all teachings I had read as a young adult. Just because these teachings didn’t help me find the truth of myself and others. I had to find out the answers for myself.

This was the path of the will. I had just started to catch remote sensations from my higher self in meditation exercise but these sensations were few and far between. Actually I lost myself in meditation practise as I still hadn’t found out about the importance of self-discipline and other factors (But we will come to this in time). I went on the path of the will instead. I became a rebel. I started to listen to the whispers of my heart. And some old relationships I had were lost due to my new found consciousness.

I had to seek out. I had to find out the truth for myself.

What I found was that the will led me to new revelations that I never could have guessed from my initial perspective. That the will led me to new travel experiences, writing projects and human encounters that would transform my entire world resulting in a total transfiguration of values. I started to look at myself, others and the world in another way compared to how I looked before. It was the path of individuality. Healthy ego to find energy and inner strength, the way to the soul to not mix up too much with others and rather assume personal perspectives on life coming from the heart and also personal power to make an imprint upon others and help others on their chosen paths in turn.

It transformed the way I connected with others, changed my approach to art and led me to a deep held sense of inner wholeness. As if the will had revealed my real individuality existing beyond the surface mind. But this individuality (With a bit stronger ego) was just one half of the picture. Individuality was needed to build inner strength and knowledge to be able to experience the other part: The part of public service, love and unity described by many teachers on the same path. I could experience the timeless state of the enlightened teachers but now with a sense of wholeness I hadn’t experienced before. It was necessary to explore individuality to find the nature of the impersonal. Balance was always the key to success. In this way the soul was the path to individual liberation and public service a way to integrate the lower self with the higher self. It’s a great difference compared to how I viewed spirituality before. I didn’t believe self-realization was about personal happiness but only about unselfish service for altruistic reasons. Now I look upon the matter as a matter of balance. The new values are not classical Christian values. This new form of public service is not only about self-sacrifice but instead a way to inform chosen individuals of the things that helped me for the love itself but also for a deeper sense of satisfaction. A way to personal happiness, knowledge and power. But using this power not to control others but to liberate them along their own paths.

Much more was revealed on the way. I found greater depths of bliss on new journeys around the globe. In Berlin, South Africa and Sweden I found the way to a clean mind. Meaning the complete annihilation of all reality constructs and values I had accumulated within myself. Destroying my concepts of individuality to arrive at an unconditioned state. Leading to greater bliss and personal satisfaction. It’s a long journey describing an individual path and an impersonal ascension due to experiences and transformations I had on my way. I had to change values to find out I hadn’t grasped spirituality fully at depth. And later giving them all up for a completely unconditioned state. In this new consciousness all truisms and artificial values are pushed aside and something new arises from this clean mind. These are the values I started to live by but connecting to a deeper level of the heart. This was self-discovery and realization. I later found out that many great philosophers, esotericists and spiritual masters talked about the same state, the same path and the same conclusions. But I had no personal experience before and couldn’t understand these teachings at depth.

What I have discovered is that the unconditioned mind is no fixed state of universality shared by all humans. To clear one’s mind is just to discover what one actually is beyond the surface mind. It can be anything. When I meditated in my younger years I just found the inner light of the Christians. After my countless travels and inversion of values I found the same state of consciousness described by esoteric teachings. Leading to fulfillment.

This was the nature of my path but I encountered countless more realizations and obstacles on the way. This will now be fully explained.

The Nature of the Will

Much people I know view the will as something natural and shared by all humans. And they share the same kind of common sense understanding of the matter. Everyone knows of the will and make use of it but they rarely trusts it in critical situations. Instead they use their intellectual faculties to decide their own future. In my late teens and younger adult years I turned this around by endless thinking and analysis. I found out that the will is the primary mover, the one force being able to balance the different aspects of the self to a coherent whole. With the loss of will comes loss of identity and true life purpose. This goes beyond the reality of the physical world into past lives and one’s true purpose. With a philosophy to merge with the will comes individual liberation and happiness but it’s a long process needing great care and time.

It’s easy to say one makes use of the will but what actually happens is that the driving force of the will is the absolute opposite to what the intellect sometimes perceives as valid. The intellect is conditioned by past life experience, the school, the church, the media and so on. One can therefore seldom trust the will in critical situations. Situations where the will really matters. At one point I went completely irrational as I saw the advantages of the surrender to the will. The intellect couldn’t grasp my new found consciousness. And every day was a sense of discovery. A revelation. I often had a feeling of having experienced the same kind of people, places and circumstances before. As if the will had made old memories become manifest due to my surrender. I discovered the truth of the will. It’s just an irrational force. A force wanting personal liberation and sometimes having an urge to destroy all human concepts and reason. It’s revealing subjective truth, truth about previous existence, not anything objective. But still being wise because of past existence. A clean will has therefore to be acknowledged by a working intellect. And this intellect must conform to the will so one can sense a full integration. It’s the will of the heart that drives one to purpose and enlightenment but it’s the intellect that is the tool to make one’s purpose become fully realized.

One has to combine the two.


Meditation is a complex matter. But it’s also essential. Finding the way to true self (Being as I call it) is necessary to experience spiritual freedom. Joy and happiness. Meditation can range from walking exercises, breathing exercises to repeating of mantras and much more of the same kind. What I found out myself is that I initially had the opposite approach to meditation towards what it became in the end. This could also be true for others. Meditation to me is nowadays about great concentration and structure. To clean the mind from endless chatter and false emotion. It’s a complex science. A science of how to still the mind to find the way to the self within.

At first I was seeking immediate satisfaction. I was not evaluating my meditation experience. I saw meditation as an end in itself. I sought blissful states and was using breathing exercises to awake occult powers I couldn’t understand. An awareness of the negative side of meditation is essential. One can easily lose grasp of one’s true nature to disappear in a bright illusion leading to mental disorders.

The problem is actually irrationality. That one is losing oneself so completely in a transforming experience that one loses the logic of the mind. That is not a balanced act.

If one meditates as I do nowadays one sits down in a quiet corner, breathes a couple of breaths and starts to count numbers from one to six hundred. One is fully concentrating on the task at hand so the thoughts and emotions of the conditioned mind starts to move and later fade away. It’s a long process taking great time and effort. Walking exercises combined with counting has been most effective to me. It’s important to find the way back to the body, to the counting, to still the mind from unwanted activity. Never to fade away in a bright illusion giving a sense of pleasure. Never doing the opposite either. Never expecting overwhelming results. One has to free the mind from concepts of liberation and just walk or count. Finding the way to concentration.

The importance of the body is one factor one must remember. Because meditation tends to get too mental and one can lose contact with one’s true self. Individual will primarily. Therefore I have discovered that physical exercise, deep rest, breathing exercises and other physical forms of activity make one reconnect with the body giving room for the self. Meditation should be a science and natural process that one learns by oneself. When one watches the mind, evaluates past meditation practise and finds a method that works for oneself. Going slow and step by step. Taking time and great concentration. Watching closely what happens in the body and the mind. Evaluating over longer periods of time. And also using the new found freedom to never lose oneself in a clean state. That state is just the lack of thoughts and emotions. Ending suffering but not being anything in itself.

Just an unconditioned state.

Personal Discovery

There is a philosophy among many philosophers (Stoics especially) that one shall be content with what actually is and never try to change it. I have discovered that there is a great truth to this but also otherwise. To try to become something, change something, is the hardest thing in life. To let go of these ambitions and instead adopt a philosophy of contentment have help me to great extent. In that sense what have helped is negating the thought “I am not content” and watch contentment arise from that pure state of mind.

On the other hand there is also a truth to the other way of seeing things. That one can actually become something, amount to something, even to others. It’s a fine line. To me it has to do with the will. Sometimes one should stop the seeking and have a good rest, at other times one will only suffer from more rest. Too much of the one or the other results in suffering.

I have many passions but my primary passion in life has always been (And to great extent still is) self-discovery. Self-discovery in my sense is quite different from the unconditioned state gained from meditation practise. It’s a process of continuous self-realization and actualization. A spiral movement of self-discoveries, resulting in new actions and still more discoveries. It’s a feedback process of thought, action and emotion.

But how shall one go about discovering oneself?

I have found out that the worst thing one actually can do is sitting silently in one corner of a room and think about oneself. One will only find random mind processes and vague conclusions lacking real evidence. The best thing for me have been to set up a goal for a travel journey. Visit the places, people and cultures that are in tune to what I actually want to experience. Go there, experience it and think about the actual experiences. Not just the actual experiences but what one actually saw and felt.

When one are in tune with the will one will see what one’s destiny will reveal. One might understand it when one passes one’s comfort zone and actually go out there and catch these experiences. One might meet new people, experience new things and think about one’s experiences. Perhaps to find out that one were the opposite to what one thought one were in the beginning.

Sitting in the comfort of one’s own sofa.

Being In the Now

I think a clean mind is my primary contribution. To put aside the wrong values, the wrong reality concepts and also the irrational force of human behaviour taken too far. I always was the one longing for an authentic life. The one thing which have helped me the most and balanced the different aspects of my life is the balanced activity of the unconscious. Removing the blocks to the will. Experiencing the state of a clean mind and then watching life emerge from this cloud of no-thinking.

What is required though is to combine this unconditioned state with self-knowledge. As what one finds in the depths of the unconscious is the knowledge previously attained. One must sometimes learn in order to unlearn.

Kill the false gods, kill the bad conventions, the wrong habits, the superficial wishes and the vain hopes. Even abandon false love and intimate passions when they start to control you. Give up on the wrong friends and also enemies.

To find oneself is to discover what one actually is beyond shallow self-concepts. And true happiness is to discover these individual threads in the unconscious. Being. The information network coming from the pure unconscious leading you to your unique destiny. You might come to recognize what you actually are beyond the sense experience of the body. Even recognizing this information when you look yourself in the mirror.

That sometimes divergence is the path to unity and that individuality sometimes is the path to the light.

Beyond many individual’s comprehension.

2. Travel

Travel was the one thing in my process of spiritual development that really put me on the right track so to speak. Before I started with travel I felt really lost in life. Insecure, blind to the forces of modern society and having no real insight into my own condition. I started with small trips around the countryside in my home country Sweden. Excursions into natural reserves, historical places and much more of the same kind. I discovered that the random sensations of the unknown put me into a lucid state. A state of freedom and discovery. But I was also put down by countless scares and feeling of alienation. It was an overwhelming experience to experience it for the first time. I had never seen myself as a traveller. I didn’t know that unknown landscapes and occasional meetings with strangers would have such a transforming effect. As if the act to break boredom and routine made wonders for my spiritual condition. I felt free and replenished with energy. Two factors I had lost in the comfort of the modern world.

When I travelled solo old baggage easy came to the surface. I easily felt lost in alien lands. Thinking about security, shelter, food and water. Feeling lost in the mazes of a new city or confused on alien roads. Reading signs written in a foreign language. I became exhausted. I felt lonely at times when I travelled solo. It was really tuff for the psyche and also for the body. Especially the first two weeks. But I tried to pass beyond it. I had to break old habits and comfort to explore alien territory. Deep inside I often knew the importance to continue but the clash between the new experience and the conditioned mind often made the journey quite uncomfortable.

So what made me break the ice and feel the wonder?

I’m not trying to generalize but I have noticed a key element that always was bugging me. And that was a lack of purpose. I never was having a conscious goal in my first travel attempts. I never did search myself consciously in order to reveal the real reason for travel. What did I want to experience? What did I think my travel experience would reveal? Having a goal was vital as the lack of it made it easy to give up before the actual transformation could take place. Having a goal and also to take measures to ensure that I would get the experience I searched for. Planning a trip went along with this.

I went to South East Asia a couple of years ago and I found it very disappointing at first. I was on the path to spiritual transformation but nothing happened when I arrived in Bangkok in the beginning of November. In fact I felt very bored and the people were just bugging me. The only thing I saw were buildings, random people passing by and things I had experienced before travelling in Europe and India. I thought that I maybe had made a mistake after all. But in an act of desperation I started to think differently. I started to observe people. To watch the buildings, monuments and people passing by in an act of curiosity. What was the truth of this place? What was the truth of the people I saw and the events taking place? This change of mind changed my entire trip. I started on a quest of enlightenment and would later change my outlook on myself, others and the world.


The important thing for me was to keep going. To spend little money and go for new experience that was in line with my personal goal. Seeking diversity to search for the things I had hard to imagine. To trust the will and to seek out the things looking quite abnormal on the surface. It was this act of deviance, of going into alien country that helped me come back into my own. To take bus-rides out of Bangkok to explore exotic areas around the Mekong river and to take trains to seaside towns. I hired a motorcycle in Hua Hin and went along the Thailand seaside and had some transforming rides in the mountains. This sense of freedom, of the road passing by and the experience of remote mountain villages made me connect with South East Asia on a deeper level. I met other travelers at my hostel and we celebrated New Years Eve with thousands of locals at the count down to the New Year. It was one of the most magical experiences of my life.


To me it is important not to only experience but to also reflect on those experiences. What did I do, what did I think and what did I feel about the travel experience? Did I experience the shock between the old self and the new self? Did I write about these experiences to have a record of them later? Perhaps you like me will discover that the world can be completely different to what many were thinking in the beginning. And that many actually can come to like the things they never cared about.

Spiritual Science

I started with spiritual science. I made new theories and tested them on my way. I found out that the theories I built upon pure observation and logical thinking stood the test of time. Finding the way back in time to preserved cultures and hidden memories of childhood. But I reversed conventional science as the initial theoretical framework was built on an understanding of humanity coming from my own perspective. And I went on as a spiritual scientist building my own concepts and conclusions. This is an important factor to consider as “facts” not necessarily are facts at all only observations. To find the meaning of an observation one can choose to put the observation in a formal context.

This is a topic I will go deeper into in another part of this series.

But one thing can be mentioned about spiritual science. From my own perspective it is easy to lose oneself in an over thinking mind. To think when one shall experience can cloud experience. And thinking too much on subjects lacking discipline can result in confusion. In fact one can lose one’s mind going too deeply into things. One can find time of peace and quiet. Good sleep. To lose connection with all ambitions and just enjoy the culture in a foreign country. Building theories with pure observation and thinking (Putting all “knowledge” behind) can maybe be nothing more than another passion. Getting too serious with things might destroy more than it creates.

One can lose grasp of the forest just looking at the trees.

Balance has been the key.

Coming Home

Traveling is only one dimension in a larger picture. Equally important to me has been to come home and take the travelling experience to include the insights in daily routine. Meeting people I already knew and to make notice of changes in my mental attitude. When I came home from South East Asia I started to meet old friends and to talk about old topics. But it soon became evident that I had another grasp of the subjects. That something had changed in the back of my mind. It was easier to understand the others, easier to communicate, easier to listen and to bring something to the table. The same thing that happened to my relationships also happened to my understanding of art. I started to read more, listen more and I started to connect the dots. Things that previously escaped my mind came to the surface and I felt I got a deeper understanding of form and content. Music became a good replacement for the adventure lost in past travel experience. I found it easier to read and understand human history, philosophy and science. It was like the insights I found on my journey had changed my general understanding of the world as a whole. Before I went to South East Asia I just found philosophical writings confusing and boring. I couldn’t put up critique; I couldn’t make use of critical thinking. And I never found any solutions to the problems I clearly had had. This process went on for a year and then I went out on another journey. But this time more in tune to the depths of myself and I started to plan more, to decide more consciously and felt a deeper connection to other people.

Nowadays I think much more about what I want to experience. What people I want to meet and also about what kind of mindset I use to find meaning in my travel experience. Because successful travel experience might not only be about the perfect place and the right moments but also about what kind of perspective one chooses to interpret, think about and feel about the experience. This has been the most important realization of my later time here in Sweden too. As one can get bored by anything. Especially if one has travelled a lot and seen many places. One can choose to have a clear goal and choose wisely (As time is short and the years passes by) but also give meaning consciously to what one sees and experiences. This change of attitude has been helpful also while not travelling.

To find meaning in life without the constant thrill of new adventures.


I have found that nature is a key ingredient to successful travel experiences. From my own point of view. Nature has been a good catalyst to find the way to the hidden depths inside. It’s the energy of a well preserved place, the calm, the beauty and the untamed wilderness I never can stop to notice. This experience of merging with something untamed and unpolluted (if it is sustained for several days) has been a good way to connect with unconscious thoughts and feelings. Raising energy, a mental state that can be sustained for several days. And I easily start to think in constructive directions.

But nature can also have a downside: Lack of mental stimulation can get on the nerves. Before I started with nature exploration I always was pretty anxious and couldn’t find ways to merge with the unconditioned depths within. I always longed back to civilization. Thinking that nature was the same as sitting for myself and stare into a black wall. Nature is necessarily not something in itself. Perhaps nothing more than a good display of beauty, peace and quiet. But this is the actual point. It might be a good way to connect with the depths within never noticed when focusing on the hectic ways of modern life.

In the end though I started to realize that life might not only be about peace and quiet but also about doing (from my own perspective). About relationships. About building on the insights won in nature exploration to take those insights to transform life for the better.

City Life

As a balanced act city life has been a good contrast to nature exploration. To explore high culture, art, architecture, religious sites and so on. It has always been a relief to escape nature for another phase of intellectual development. Watch modern life in the arc of human history and the wonders of the present time. Walking on a ladder into a territory of the future. Talking to people to get rejection or confirmation of the insights won on the way.

I think modern city life can teach us much about the present time, the past and the future. Learning about culture to see the relative importance of the battles won in the past. Intellectual development in the arts, the sciences and religion (among other things). It’s easy to forget the past. It has been easy to lose myself in a sunken dream. The modern world might be no chance occurrence. It might rather be a controlled information database building information along the way. Due to victories and defeats. For the good and the bad. With individual knowledge based upon pure consciousness (won in nature or in other ways) one can tentatively use the modern world as a tool for greater understanding. Revealing the individual errors and limitations but also to acknowledge the perceptions one already has attained.

In chance encounters with strangers one can maybe begin to see the similarities and differences between oneself and others. One can maybe talk about shared experiences to reveal the truth of things not obvious at first. To me it seems like a good conversation with a local can make individual progress become much clearer.

Making it possible to watch one’s own path in the lens of a dispassionate observer.


To integrate the different aspects of travel experience can be a final phase often occurring at home. To reflect on the depths won from the different phases of the journey. Perhaps one will discover the importance of personal values. Personal values creating meaning in an intellectual void. Thinking about what one actually saw, heard and felt. Never making the leap into the unknown but to create a spiritual system based on the “facts” witnessed. The error of bad value creation might be the same errors as committed by extraordinary men in the arc of human history. One might want to learn from these mistakes (and one’s own) and find the way to something “real” for oneself and others. Creating a path to one’s own future. Feeling great excitement. But never forgetting the mistakes committed in the past.

3. Socializing

I have a unique background. I never was the one to succeed in social contexts. I wasn’t the one someone pushed over but I still couldn’t make an imprint on the people I was socializing with. I was just ignored. A nobody. As I sat down in a room people just went on as usual, sometimes also leaving the room. Sometimes I tried to get a better connection. Talking without head just guessing about what to say. It was really a torment and I left social life for personal development later. Things changed when I began with travel. I met other like-minded individuals at hostels, café’s, bars and public parks. Something happened to me as I met people with a relaxed attitude. People interested in travel and personal development like me. It went really easy. At one point I went from being the quiet guy with nothing to say to being much different. And this experience was reinforced by continual success with girls of the same age. I was quite surprisingly pulled deeper down into a feeling of connection with myself, others and the world. It was a fantastic experience but an experience that evened out as I had to settle for ordinary work.

As time went on I started to think deeper about my experience and the things that had changed in the perception of my mind. I concluded that my previous success was not related to life experience as such but the result of a deep investigation into the facts at hand. Into different theories of human nature building on the facts I had witnessed. Finding clarity. Creating a system of social theory.

I have concluded that social life is pretty easy for most people most of the time. To be quite successful in social contexts is just about being casual. Relaxing, having fun and never thinking about it much at all. But where it gets interesting is when you want to create deeper meaning in social contexts. To get attention from the people you actually want to spend time with. To get the right girl, to find a good conversation partner. To go beyond the trivial and get deeper into the social life you actually want to experience.

To me it began with the inversion of Christian values.

Christian values were something I was taught from very young age. I went to Christian meetings and was a pretty fast learner. I did pretty well at school. In my teenager years I was pretty much by myself. But it all changed with my travel experience in South East Asia. I went down on a path of self-discovery and found out that my idea of my own self was contradicting my true nature. I discovered it in a quest to understand the opposite sex. As my interest in erotic encounters pulled me into new directions never noticed before. I started to colour the world in a different light. A light described by my newly found individuality. And the Christian values were revealed as grand illusions clouding my consciousness.

The grand illusions are not about Christianity as such but much more about a Christian mindset. To choose to be an unhappy servant. (Consciously of unconsciously) To never find the way to inner strength. To individuality. To the inversion of Christian values which is not about being “evil”. But rather about becoming the ideal version of oneself. To accept that one wants to make an impact on others. To affirm personal power. It really helped to strengthen ego as I previously didn’t think about “ego” at all. But not being hard to be around rather positive, personal and creative. Finding the right balance between the light and the dark.

Especially if one wanted to make a good impression on the opposite sex.

But this inversion of Christian values is not something that is easy to describe but has to be experienced by oneself.

What happened to me was that my new found power made it easier for me to relax in social contents. I found great energy. I found a new sense of inner freedom. And as I went home from South East Asia I started to transform previous relations. Joking more, easing down and becoming more physical. This happened not as a negative thing but rather the opposite. I simply found the way to my inner power and others seemed to enjoy it too. What I discovered later though was that my new found values became a burden in the end. I was previously trying to be something unique and idealistic but I took it too far. In meditation exercise I found the way to the impersonal for inner balance. And that balance was not separate from my new values but transcending them. So in the end I found out that I had been right all along but these values now came from within without the need for intellectual abstractions.

What is the nature of these values?

It’s about being a creator. About finding the way to inner power but attuning to the collective to become the ideal version of oneself. This is actually the nature of love to be honest. But love is not the Christian variant of love but rather about becoming a god in one’s own right. It’s about individuality and personal power. To affirm individual will to some extent to reveal the hidden force within and then using that power in combination with the impersonal to attune to the collective. It’s a positive thing. To be a creator is many times about being original. But being original does not exclude knowing about the social context to complement it from a personal point of reference.

Being unattractive is lacking this personal power. Being attractive to me is about a mindset of social theory building on the facts of the real world.

What does this mean in practise?

Arriving at a party you never let yourself be carried away by a feeling of being like everyone else. You rather hate this attitude of conformity. You are resting in your personal values. You believe in and strengthen yourself. You consciously choose to work against the forces trying to make you unsexy and unworthy of attention. You never loose your mind hitting on the right girl. You are rather a creator. Someone to be noticed. But one can take this too far. One can loose grasp of the collective mind. And therefore one sometimes has to remain silent. Cracking jokes and ease own. Go for a walk outside the party. Drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes.

Coming back at a later time. Wearing new clothes and deciding the choice of music.

One can make fun of it but on a serious side this is also love. Changing the mood of the entire party. Using your inner strength to transform a bad conversion. The best part of it is when everything is easing down. When people ease down so much they forget about themselves and their troubles. This is unity consciousness. The path into the self to abandon the self for the pleasure of the universal mind. But it can never be attained by those that have chosen to serve others to the cost of their own selves. It has to do with human evolution. Being individualistic is a product of millions of years of evolution. The strong are the one’s having personal power to accomplish their tasks in the world. Using their social skills to find the way to inner power and later getting invitation from the opposite sex.

An attitude of “no-care” is the way to go. Creating a strong belief in personal success but never expecting too much.

Something has to be mentioned though: And that is that all this talk about personal power just are words after all. One has to go out there and test these skills. Learning from true life experience of social contexts. Witnessing the facts, thinking about them and updating the social theory. It’s one thing to say one has to do the talk, another thing to do the talk. One thing to think about a mesmerizing moment and another thing to experience it for real. And what it has come down to for myself is that I had to abandon all structure in the end. When one has nailed down the details of the system one becomes the system and that is where the true fun begins.

Just easing down. Watching the lights go out in sudden moments. Candles are lit and the magic of the unconscious can start to be revealed. It’s these moments, of crossing the barrier from time to no time that is the victory of the enlightened soul.

A time of unity where the deepest dreams can manifest and one leaves the party as an enlightened individual.

Experiencing the true nature of divinity.

4. Science

I have previously described different ways to attain self-realization. In meditation, travel and socializing which have been the focus of my previous articles. Experience is vital to counteract muddled thinking. Testing given assumptions in the real world. But the one thing which is often neglected in the modern world is the working of the intellect. Everyday existence and spirituality (for the few and selected) often becomes nothing more than a belief-system. Something to strive against but lacking real world context.

What I have done for the past fifteen years is using the intellect to build a theoretical framework grounded in true life experience. A personal mode of science that is profoundly original and building on my own spiritual journey. It is not science in the way we view science most of the time. As something for experts and people in laboratories wearing white suits. It is rather a personal tool to develop consciousness to higher levels and to solve personal problems and establish personal goals.

In the past I really didn’t understand the importance to develop a working intellect. I was meditating and doing work to reach the higher self. But what I found in the end was revealed as shallow illusions. Emotional baggage formed by what I previously had experienced and read. I was not doing the science, not using the left side of the brain only the right one. And my life was brought down by a state of mind that lacked true life context.

So one of my life goals has become to cultivate a higher mode of intellect to combine the right side of the brain with the left. What arises from this consciousness is higher clarity. One can use inner guidance not as a way to experience facts but as a hunch that later can be investigated by scientific method. It was spiritual science that put me on the right track in life to also change my personal values. Leading to conscious evolution. Logical thinking is one thing that is underestimated in the modern world. Logical thinking that is put to use to solve personal problems and evolve intellectually. I think it has to do with the complexity and difficulty of the intellectual approach to life. People are not willing to put in the effort to find clarity of their own lives and personal paths. It is easier to remain emotional, a state that is the common way of modern life. But it is a path that leads to emotional illusions, especially as we live in a world ruled by capital interests.

So what I have done is to create a new scientific approach to problem solving and conscious evolution. Logical thinking can get you very far but a logical thinking mind that is building on real life facts, creating hypotheses, testing them for a far amount of time and building new theories have been revealed as much, much better. One of the mistakes of certain thinkers is that they read a lot of books and think about the answers offered. They never build their theories on the facts of their own lives and never test the results of their own doing. To change their theories on the way. What a free-thinker need is true life experience. Experience from many areas of life and then using these observations to later build a theoretical framework. The intellect simply can’t imagine the real world existing outside the mind. It is just a tool to logically deduce from facts witnessed. I realized this the hard way on my travel to South East Asia a couple of years ago. True life experience hit me as a train rolling over a straight track. Hitting me in the face with a brutal reality. To cultivate an intellect building on real life facts and later to logically deduce from these facts changed my entire consciousness. I found true happiness. Clarifying inner guidance. The intuition changed as my intellectual framework changed. Intuition and the intellect are closely related.

But what are the details of this science?

It’s not the science of biology or theoretical physics (To mention a few areas). These areas are important and can be used to find confirmation of one’s own conclusions. But they are not the main focus of my investigations. This personal mode of science is something that is related to my own life and others. Consciousness, travels, relations, occult explorations and much more to solve actual life problems and find new solutions. It is important to be a conscious explorer. To search one’s own heart and mind to build a personal path to self-realization. Not exploring by chance but by a conscious decision from the amount of understanding that one actually has attained. Doing it consciously is a key to success. And later taking these experiences to reflect upon them, logically deduce, create hypotheses and testing them for validity. The integration of the left and right brain is vital. True knowledge often starts with a subtle suspicion. Something that not easily can be grasped with the intellect. It is a kind of suspicion. And it is important to find clarity about this suspicion. What if the current model of reality is false? What if my main problem is related to something I never have known? Describe the suspicion coming from inside your heart. Getting it down on paper perhaps as I have done. Getting the details right. And then testing these suspicions by doing the science in the real world. Sometimes the suspicion is right, sometimes it is completely false but most of the time something in between. (This is coming from my own perspective)

Then one has to nail down the details of the scientific method. Pure observation is not as easy as it sounds. Real observation is about putting the self to the side. Putting aside all pre-conceived notions to just experience life as it is. It is a cold and calculated mode of consciousness. Dispassionate, brutal, honest. One has to accept that one’s perception of the world can change and often does. Going against the fabricated emotions. When one is doing logical deduction it is important to never generalize. To never affirm something that never was observed empirically. One just builds on the observations and form hypotheses from the actual facts witnessed. Finding clarity. One will often find that the theoretical model is incomplete and that new research is required to fill in the blanks. One shall never fill in the blanks with emotional leanings and personal preferences. The truth is often a harsh statement contradicting emotional baggage. And when one is testing the hypotheses for validation one shall do this in a relatively long period of time. To watch the results arising from this new mode of consciousness. If the model is correct assume it, otherwise think/search again.

What I have found out though is that this process is very hard to master in practise. As theories change, the personal belief system change and one’s life change trajectory. Changes in consciousness are very profound and can leave big side effects. Therefore it has always been best to just work on one problem at the time. Finding structure and clarity. To see what happens in one’s life as one changes approach to a given problem. This happened to me in South East Asia as I started to change my philosophical values. I discovered a new reality frame building on empirical investigations and blockages were removed inside. My energy levels increased. I found greater happiness but also a strange delirium that really scared me off. I had to ease down. To meditate, to find structure in good sleep and physical exercises. This way of finding the way back to the body has saved me many times. Over-thinking, over-analysis, to big of a breakthrough and the awakening of a new consciousness is a long process taking several years. But having a lasting impact when the details of the structure has been understood and tested for validity.

Another mistake is to give up entirely. As this shallow state of mind can give momentarily pleasure but has been revealed as a wasted life in the end. One just has to accept that one is a slow learner and go on patiently in this way.

One thing has to be mentioned though and that is one’s general understanding of reality. This understanding will decide the kind of science you will make. How you will interpret facts witnessed and what kind of thinking you will do to deduce your own conclusions. What I have found out is that reality itself is very deceiving. When one looks at reality empirically one can easily feel one has grasped a profound truth of existence. But what one usually gets is a distorted form of reality as the investigator’s own consciousness puts glasses on the actual observation. Reality is thought-responsive. And what you will see is what you expect. One needs to break with this reality and investigate many more points of view. This is one of the strengths of the scientific establishment. Seeking sound confirmation from other investigations, on findings tested over the arc of scientific history. Maybe contradicting one’s own research. This is important factors leading to success. Searching for “odd” theories of reality is very revealing and a big reality check. Perhaps your current model of reality is correct not to 30% but to 29% and that single difference in 1% will do all the difference? Use critical thinking skills to decide to investigate from multiple perspectives. Testing these models and to maybe find they are equally true given different contexts. Some of the models are maybe better than others. Because what is at stake here is the theoretical and practical way you live your life. Using a false model of reality may work in the short run but will destroy you in the long run. Testing, rejection/validation and more testing are keys to success. Try to be honest. Is this new model of reality really pushing you forward?

One wants to find the way to something substantial, natural and real. And this new reality will not only give benefits over a long arc of time but changing one’s outlook on life completely. Which in itself is a good factor leading to happiness. As happiness is a state of mind, a state of mind that can be attained. Not something you were born with. (Building from my own perspective)

A time of reflection.

I have found that wisdom often lies in something between extremes. One will never succeed by pure intellectual methods and never by pure emotional methods. I have found the way to the will. And it’s the will (centred in the heart) that pushed me down into my occult investigations elevating my consciousness. One has very, very much to gain from coming into spiritual science from the perspective of the will. The will balances the intellectual act. The will gives time for rest, time for entertainment, time for sound relations and a stable life. The will (As it is constantly affirmed) will direct you to faster improvement and the right conclusions. But the will is balanced by the conclusions you find on the way. Changing the will when you change your belief system. Wisdom is to be true to the self. Never doing anything you don’t want. Never thinking when you want to do something else. The will is a balancing force driving you to excellence in all facets of life. And even the science will be improved as truth almost always has been revealed as something between extremes. This is fuzzy logic. A recognition of the inborn complexity of all life. It is better to find one true conclusion than many false ones. Going slow as mirrored in the natural process of life. Slowly improving. Getting great returns.

So what is the conclusions coming from my own perspective?

It is a new model of reality confirmed by esoteric science. That reality is a field of pure consciousness creating worlds by infinite modes of perception. This greater reality and the self are interconnected. In fact so interconnected that there is no true separation. The individual is pure consciousness creating subjectivity and objectivity from the individual belief system. So reality becomes as you expect it to become. Internal and external. One can change these beliefs into constructive ones.

The world as you experience it is just one possible mode of perception. You can change reality to your preferred one. Finding the way to your true self, to creativity, describing it, elevating it, building on it to transform your reality to a preferred one.

The truth of the world is also that we live in a universal matrix of control. That most individuals are not free in any substantial sense and that most people are just copying other people’s views. Never rising to power to affirm their own values. It is this birth-right, this creativity, that has been taken from man. To reduce him/her into a wage-slave, consuming bad products, replicating and dying. What is needed is to realize one is a slave and then take measure to work against the forces trying to put one down. And realizing one’s inborn potential to become a god onto one’s own right. Finding deep fulfillment, knowledge and power. Negating the values given to oneself at the time of youth and in later years. Really inverting them as the truth of the deceiving matrix is that one has been conditioned to believe reality is the opposite to what it actually is. Beyond the mind/body bubble of the average person’s life. Waking up is twisting reality to the perception of the true will coming from the heart. Understanding that occult reality and creating change.

Taking time to change reality in an act of conscious revolution.

5. Creativity

Creativity to me is not just a way of doing, a way of putting emotions and thoughts into a creative context. It is actually a way of life. A deep yearning to express myself. To discover personal truths and to lose myself completely in the creative process. It is a yearning to drown in the present moment but also to fill this moment with the seeds of a deep held vision, telling about the world as I experience it subjectively and objectively.

I have found countless ways to express this inner drive to transformation. It has been the writing of movie scripts, doing paintings, writings poems, novels and short stories. Writing and performing music and other things of the same kind. I have discovered the surprise pleasure of creative expression in chess. As that game presents great opportunities for odd strategy and good tactics. Intellectual stimulation but also creative expression.

What I have found on my path of creativity is not only glorious victories but also depressing defeats. I began my creative journey with the wrong approach. Thinking about the craft, about the ins and outs of different kinds of creative expression without actually being creative. Actually destroying my creative abilities.

I have also gone the different path of neglecting the intellect and just putting myself into an deep state of consciousness drowning in my own visions. It’s about the problem of integrating the left brain with the right brain.

My creativity came into another dimension altogether when I started with travel and reality started to reveal itself beyond theories and philosophical concepts. In this series of articles I have described My New Spiritual System. I have described different ways to find the way to pure being. Travel for personal discovery. Socializing to find the way to unity consciousness. And doing the science to uncover the facts of this process of enlightenment. But it is in creativity it all is coming together. Using the subjective and objective truths found in this process to express myself creatively and helping others on a similar path.

In the following sections I will describe my creative path more in depth.

The three stages of creative development

1.The pre-conditioned stage
2.The conditioned stage
3.The post-conditioned stage

The first stage of my creative development started with the pre-conditioned stage. This is a stage of practise and building creative works using the will. Expressing oneself just by being true to the vision one is having at the moment of expression. This stage is really important to advance to the other two stages. Because practise is really important to counteract the deceptive ways created by other people’s theories. One is building on individual will first and foremost. Forgetting ideas of how one “shall” do and not do. Discovering the ways of the individual vision. Different from everyone else’s vision. It is really important to not become victim of theories one never can understand at this stage and also getting the experience that is important for deeper analysis later. One can actually get very far just using will and real experience. Experience of reading and writing for one (If one is a writer). Putting one’s words on paper and evaluating later. The problem of this stage is that one seldom has a full understanding of individual expression at all. One can’t understand a piece of art in depth. Lacking the technical mastery and often having no true knowledge about the individual vision. The first stage leaves space for the second stage.

The second stage is more about creative analysis than creation itself. One wants to understand individual expression in depth. Learning about the craft in the light of previous creative attempts. The first stage of pure experience leads way to deeper analysis. Creative expression in the conditioned stage is more intellectual compared to the first stage. One often finds good precision and technical mastery but often lacks the emotion of the first stage and loses the original vision. Art suffers but the intellect grows. Overall though the artwork is often improved and should be as one finds way to clearer structure. A deeper sense of conscious choice coming to the surface. One can get cold and analytical but the art improves because of it.

The third stage is the post-conditioned stage. This is the stage of forgetting about the lessons learned in the first and the second stage. It is using destruction as a way to discover truths formed in the subconscious in the previous stages. It is actually a way of destruction, not creation. Destroying the concepts in the surface mind to find the way to the information built previously in the subconscious. It is a stage of clarity. A stage of true intuition. The first stage also was intuitive in nature but that intuition was built on guessing, chance and occasional life experience. It was not conscious in any substantial use of the term. The third stage is a stage of pure consciousness and complete clarity. One knows the vision so well one can hardly speak about it without expressing its totality. It is much more complex, darker and edgier. It is the stage when one’s individual expression finally can be presented in a clear manner. A manner with intellectual depth and emotional resonance.

Creativity in essence

To me creativity is something that is not separate from true life experience. That experience leaves room for personal discovery. Knowledge that later can be used to infuse credibility to the creative works coming later. But I think it is important to stress that it can also be a great difference. Using true life experience as a mode of inspiration that can fuel the creative expression coming later. But using the glasses of subjectivity to combine true life experience with personal reflection. Creating visions that are very effective in conveying deep forms of art. As true creativity to me should be more than just history lessons but also a way for the individual to communicate his personal values to the world.

A revolutionary act.

Tools to attain creative flow

Creativity is not just about the content and the things you want to tell but also a way to find expression of those things. Creativity requires a creative mindset and a fluid mind. What I have discovered on my personal path is that meditation is completely essential to attain a non-distracted mind that can penetrate the feelings and ideas behind any work. Meditation as a way to find clarity, space and emptiness. A deep sea of tranquility where the actual ideas can take form and come to the surface.

One also needs to work on different ways to raise energy for thought-creation. As creativity can be pretty exhausting. Most of the time one needs enormous amounts of preparation to find energy and motivation to create seamlessly. Perhaps using tactile-imagining like me to raise energy levels. Also using breathing exercises and visualization to add to it.

Visualization has been enormously important to catch ideas in the subconscious. As lacking visualization skills make the mind operate on a fragment of its capacity. A better way has been to use the right brain visualization skills to simulate and reinforce the creative vision upon the left brain for later analysis. This has been the one key to the completion of my later works of fiction. As I previously sought originality and clarity of vision but seldom reached it due to the limits of the left side of the brain.

One thing also has to be mentioned though and that is passion. Enormous amounts of passion to make it possible to surrender to the creative process for days, weeks and months with no feedback from others. It’s a motivation problem. Here rigid intention and visualization practise can help enormously. Putting oneself in an deep state of mind where one thinks one can create a masterpiece improving upon earlier works giving the right motivation.

The inversion of creative modality

What I found on my journey to self-expression was that the common values shared by many creative people, especially the ones with a commercial angle, had to be inverted to give way for individual expression.

Ideas of good and bad, beauty and ugliness, truth and illusion. I discovered that I had to work against the common notions of creativity in the end. True art to me should not be about attuning to the status quo, but rather to examine it, question it and to put up new ideas to challenge it. What is the purpose of art at all? Creating just in order to repeat old stories or to challenge them? What I found out in the end was that my own form of creativity hardly denied old truths but rather that it complemented them. It challenged and often inverted the human notions of these truths not the actuality. It’s about the personal glasses I have chosen to investigate the world. And that I can describe old truths in a new package. Also having personal inclinations to communicate my own values to the world.

Questioning common notions of good and bad, beauty and ugliness, truth and illusion.

A revolutionary act.


What is creativity?

Creativity to me is not only a way of self-expression but also a way of life. Choosing to live as an artist with creative glasses. Endlessly searching for ways to discover and express one’s true vision. The depths of soul often lacking in the reality of the modern world. Where personal values, transformation and evolution are something rarely examined. True creativity is about originality of vision. But a vision building upon different layers. Layers that can be penetrated in time and clearly understood. It is not only about “truths” but also about visions. About the grand design of the multi-verse but also the subjective world the individual wants to communicate. True creativity to me is not so much about creation as personal discovery. Using creativity as a tool to find the way to the hidden depths within.

Evolving on all levels of consciousness.

It’s my personal vision.

Beginners - The Novel
Insignificant - Memoirs
The Light Of The Beast - The Novella
Erratic Pain - The Short Story
The Other - The Novel
Ghost Walker - The Short Story Collection
Sanity Asylum - The Short Story Collection

Ascension - The Novel
Alien Forever
The Forgotten Nomad
Star Diary